Category Archives: Mary

Power of Mother

To find the void, the deep, dark power of Mother, we must detoxify our thoughts as they have been programmed.  The current mindset has put you in fear of this great power that we are all initially aligned with.  It is as simple as taking a salt bath to revitalized your body, you purge the repetitive negativity that holds you back from your greatness.  You and She are one.  As you grow to understand your position in the grid work of the universe so will She reaps the benefits of your freedom.  All your needs are met through the faith you nurture by embracing these words.


It is no accident that you have come to these words. Visualize your freedom in the most glorious version of you you can muster.  Even your most inspired vision has its limitations. Every Mother wishes to see her children reach and exceed their potential.  So does Mother Earth. When you begin to embrace the void, the place of all creation, you will tap into the flow of the universe.  This alignment has been kept secret from you so you live in fear.  Your greatness known bounds.  Do not accept anything less than the most perfect version of you.  Your dreams whisper of this greatness, follow them. Loosen the mental restraints and learn to trust the fall into darkness.  She will no fail you.  The abundance of the universe is apparent all around you, start to accept that if it exists in the current reality it is because it was dreamt of first.  This reality is set up to grant your every wish. Play and be free.  It is only in this freedom that you will find the abundance you seek.

The void has been vanquished as a benevolent force because it is the greatest force on Mother Gaia.  The ancients knew of these things and moved through Her undulations with grace.  There was no doubt in our alignment at one time.  Humans mutate over time and adjust to their environment.  The form we hold is flexible.  Do not fight any longer, trust that the changes that are afoot. The energies that are available are for the growth of humanity.  The old ways die.  The old ways have perished in the past and humanity continued.  Humanity will always continue, but how will we define it?  Your best vision needs to be clear and unfettered.  Your dreams hold the magic of a New Earth.


Beauty is all around you.  You need to make the declaration to perceive it.  Your own beauty has everything to do with self-care.  You are all Divine children, full of beauty.  Glow in the knowing and exploration of the Light you shine particular to you.  You have been encarnated at this time to bring the gift of your beauty.  The simplicity of the word beauty holds volumes of meaning.  Each One has defined their version of beauty in through their own experiences. Do not discard it.  Mother Earth needs all interpretations of beauty to be represented.

There is beauty in suffering, in courageousness, and contrast… see it, note it, voice it.  Allow your brothers and sisters to open to the experience of your perception.  Each One is part of the puzzle.

Notice how it all fits.  Nothing is out of place.  The synchronicity can be heart-wrenchingly beautiful.  Celebrate humanity.  Celebrate the freedom to choose to see beauty.

cunfessions of the mutha

I attended my first birth this morning at 4:30am.  Manuel and Maria Rojas had their little baby girl in Central City Hospital, they asked me to stay with them.  My whole body seemed to tingle when I realized they were serious.   Leaning back into that fluffy cloud of support all around me, “Allow the miracle to unfold,” I felt more then heard their support.  My angels and guides encouraged me to embrace the opportunity for growth.


Maria was having very regular contractions but she was so afraid. Tension rose from her shoulders, rolling the energy up into her face.  Her eyes widened and her breath unsteady, the rushes were unfamiliar to her.  She had no reference point to understand nor to trust the new experience.  She begged me for reassurance as the next one rose to greet her.


“Con calma.  Breathe mas larga,” my spanish was not really tolerable.  The time I spent in Mexico only made it worse.  I became more brazen, unabashed by my inability to conjugate to the correct subject or tense.  Most times I just used the infinitive.  I knew, my presence was enough.  I was holding the space and faith in this woman to birth.  The baby called to me to keep her mother strong.  The infant suspended in the darkness awaited her first breath.  She glowed rosy pink in my mind’s eye, I felt her resolve to enter the world with a bellow.


The dynamic between the couple would continue to unfold before me.  She blamed him for doing this to her, for causing her pain; changing her life.  She came to America to be independent and have her own life.  She was barely here a year when she became pregnant. The life of an independent American woman was slipping away from her.  She was repeating the legacy of generations before her even tough she moved thousands of miles to escape it.  Servitude and dedication to her family, without her identity as an individual, was everything she never wanted.  She was giving away her freedom and she knew no other way to define “mother.”


“So what,” he exclaimed, “She’s gonna get pregnant sooner or later.”  His bravado was transparent.  He shook with dread.   He was ill prepared for the unveiling of her anger as she ripped through him.  Her desperation shot out her eyes and dug into him.


How did I understand the depth of their relationship when our communication was so limited. Intuitively, I supported them in their transition into a family.  Without words as much as presence, I allowed her to reach out for him and demand submission to the power of the feminine.  I trust in the unknown and the universal wisdom that brought us together.  I knew this was going to be a huge experience for all of us.  I anticipated the gift, holding very still. This experience was an ornately wrapped present in my hand and loved every minute of the unwrapping.  Each gorgeous layer, perfectly reflecting the energy of the moment.  Emotions are raw and real. The delicious energy that I savor when the energy of the universe is so clear.


I am a doula.  I am a wise woman.  I am a mother.  Mostly, I am, me.  There is no other representation in the order of creation that comprises who I am.  It is my honor and my birth right but mostly it is in respect to the One that I have given myself permission to be uniquely myself.


I am, outwardly, a white, privileged American woman. I have northern European descendants from Germany to Hungary. My gypsy blood keeps me free and untethered by conventional boundaries.  Cornered and pressured, I am like a wild bear defending my territory.  There will not be another who holds sovereignty over me.  My power is my own.  Maria has the sweet, innocence of youth.  Her soulful eyes hold a strength of a culture deeply rooted in the earth.  Her hair braided into a thick, dark rope lays down her strong back.  There is a wisdom in her she has yet to uncover.  All they can see is her social status as an illegal Mexican immigrant on Medicaid. We made quite a pair.  I demanded respect in her name.


“An epidural would make it all better, why don’t you have one.”  The elderly room attended was uncomfortable with Maria’s deep, guttural sounds pouring from her.  She felt a rescue was in order.  There is a lesson in the pain.  With faith, the perception of pain will decrease and transforms into energy.  Birth gives women a new understanding of the flow that is life itself.  We understood this flow as a small child.  We are reintroduced to it again as mothers.


Since she was adding to Maria’s insecurity I asked her to stop offering as she will ask for it when she needs to.  Alas, it was too late. The discouragement had taken hold and the other staff members were chiming in.  The labor and delivery nurse took control of the situation.


“You must have a epidural to stop the pain,” she described in  spanish the bliss of the medication.  After the propaganda was complete, I requested that someone tell her the risk and effects to her baby postpartum.  They said there was none.  This is not true.


At this point, my presence was irritating them.  “Who are you?”


“Just a friend,” I stated which was true, because at the time I was not yet trained as a doula.  The obstetrician on staff became angry and started to yell at me in the hallway.  I realized at this moment what I was really doing here.  I stood my ground and demanded on her behalf an interpreter to explain the danger of the epidural regardless of their claim that there were no side effects.  They scrambled to get her the information that was her due.  I felt all the strength of a pack of wolves inside me as I walked back to join her in the room.


The most interesting thing happened at this point.  I returned to the room and felt the room fill with the presence of angels.  I was standing in the gateway between the worlds, holding the way open.  It was very clear to me that this child asked me to be her guardian.  I communicated with the angels and other guides  with my heart.   I knew from a deep place that all is as it should be.  I was completely dedicated to see this through regardless of the outcome.


Maria became unhinged.  The possibility of giving the pain away gave her permission to let it consume her until the relief came.  Manuel was grief stricken as she begged him to make it stop.  She pleaded in spanish, “por favor , mi amour, no mas…”   She only needed to have him understand the sacrifice she was making by bearing his child.  He could not honor the transformation.  He could bear her pleading no more. He looked to me for guidance.


I knew at this juncture, it was not for me to interfere but to help him find the strength to stand by her.  This was the turning point in the labor when the baby is close to its arrival.    I smiled and stood supportively behind him.


“Remind her to breathe.  For the baby, if not for herself.  Only inhale and exhale, that is all that is required.”


“But I can’t…” the tears welled in his eyes.

“Necessita va al bano?” I said.  The emotional tenor required a change.

“Que?” he wondered at the command.

“It will help,” I nodded encouragingly as the wise woman I am.


We got the help we needed to get her off the monitor to reach the bathroom.  I closed the door, “Keep her in there until they come.”


I am not sure what was the inspiration for this but I know the outcome was tremendous.  She was contracting strong and consistently and breathing well. I left them to manage themselves.  I sat in the rocking chair and prayed.  The angels were present and strong.  I became immersed in their energy.  I felt the love and support of the universe like a warm blanket.  I had no doubt that the experience was divinely executed. It is not to say that I knew the actual steps of the unfolding, only that I trust, wholly and completely that all happens for a reason.  We were jumping off a cliff into the unknown.  Free falling and unencumbered by the fear that surrounded us by the medical staff and their intellectualized concept of birth.  Birth resides in the heart, in the emotional body where things do not have to make sense.  Feeling our way, we proceeded.


“Where is she?” The labor and delivery nurse returned with a flourish.


I was deeply cloaked in the energy that resides between the worlds.  It took an effort to open my heavy eyelids and  answer her, “In the bathroom.” I nodded towards the door.


The rest of her entourage pursued behind her, barging into the bathroom with all the urgency of a steam engine.  Maria’s cocoon was disrupted.  They physically removed her, shouting the whole time about having the baby in the toilet.  It was unreal the aggression they displayed toward her.  The violation and disrespect ensued.  I continued to channel whatever love the universe would muster to embrace her and her baby.  The baby was here.  She was crowning.  There was no time to administer the epidural. Victory is so sweet.  I beamed from my place in the rocking chair, slowly gliding back and forth.


Maria pushed the baby into the world within a half an hour.  What a gloriously strong woman!  I stood by the sweet infant as they insisted on having their way with the baby as they had no further influence on the mother.  I just spoke to her in gentle tones as they would not let me do much else.  At the sound of my voice, she calmed and focused.  The peace from her coursed through me.  I knew it was for her I was called to be here.



Your sense of humor ties the strings of your life together.  Where you find self-importance you have stretched the string far from center.  The illusion gives you the opportunity to make choices on a daily basis about the reality you participate in.  Your ego would want you to believe in yourself beyond all others.  It creates strife through comparison.  This is wholly ludicrous.  As you are All so incredibly perfect, as it is just your presence on the face of the planet that has been the calling.  Everything else is for your entertainment as you stay here, bringing your heart energy to share.

As you enjoy the show, feel the flow of life move you forward, effortlessly.  Relish the movement.  Place awe in your heart as the universe shares its love for you.  You are cherished beyond your understanding.  All Love is here for you.  Allow the expression that is always here for you to become apparent.  The more you appreciate the effortlessness of your life, the less it requires of you.

The clarity of this knowing brings you closer to you, inspiring your creativity.  The reason for your physical incarnation is to inform all who are ready to listen of your passion.  The passionate idea floods your body, verifying you of its validity.  Emotions are the gift of this physical form.  They keep you connected to the truth.  Follow them without question.  A lack of emotional response is a death.  Search for situations that stir it up.

You are reborn!

Wonder Full

When the allowance of expansion occurs, it touches all aspects of self: emotional, physical, mental and spiritual.  The transition for the larger part of Being takes no time at all.  It is the rest of the existence that follows in a pace equal to the amount of resistance present. Harmony is created and maintained as attention is given to each aspect of Being.  It is required that not one aspect of your Being consume you more than another.  Balance actions in your daily life to facilitate clarity.

Peace of mind comes from honoring your feelings but not being overwhelmed by them.  Emotional aspect of change is a small portion of the transition.  Do not become consumed by it.  Sometimes the only escape from enduring emotional response is distraction.  Emotions are perpetuated by reoccurring thoughts, if you stop thinking these thoughts the emotion will have a chance to slip away and become attuned to the current situation rather than the one looping repeatedly in your head.

All the attention you have given yourself in these years has given you the greatest gift: yourself.  Your true self has bared witness without judgement, waiting for the vibration within your physical form to be maintained at a certain frequency long enough so that more and more of the truth of who you really are could emerge.  Revel in pure joy at the gift of life as the universe continues to give you a match to your vibration every time.  Every interaction is a result of the energy of your Beingness, so BE wonder-full.

Dream Big

Follow your passion and focus on it.  Become the expert.  Fine tune your connection with this focus and let the magic begin.  When you let all the “other” aspects of your life dim in comparison, your joy will be undeniable.  The universe has prepared all you need to move forward, all that is required of you is to live in your joy.  Find happiness in the mundane care taking, create new and different perspectives to keep you from falling into despair.  Your life is blessed, Dear One.  You have always gotten what you needed in the most magical ways, maybe not what you expected but magical none the less.  Reflect and wonder at the care that surrounds you.  You are not alone nor abandoned.

It is time to detoxify your mind of the thoughts of lack and doubt.  If you care to have help to do this, all you  need do is ask.  Ask before bed and upon waking.  We will gladly remind you in the most glorious ways that it is only your perspective that needs adjusting to finally have the life that you hold in your heart.  Align with your feelings.  Trust your emotional response to lead you to the most rewarding version of your life.  It is already here, you have to allow the blessings in.  Your feelings will lead you to more happiness, if that is your intention.  If your intention is to despair than that will be brought to you.  It is always your choice.  Oh the freedom!

Can you imagine that every single moment has been created by your vibrational alignment, even the geese that fly overhead. You have aligned with it all.  By opening your eyes to the potential of your life as this Divine Being, allow the physical reality before your eyes to morph into the fantasy in your heart.  Daydream big!

The mask you where on occasion is unnecessary.  Learn to Love yourself as we do, Dear One.  Celebrate the uniqueness that is you.  Find and appreciate yourself as you would a rose in full bloom.  You notice the color, shape and size of the flower.  You enjoy the fragrance but you are not obsessing over the thorns.  The thorns are there but you avoid them, respectfully.  If a thorn were to attach itself to you, you give it the attention it needs to release yourself from it and still admire the rose.  You are the rose.  Your thorns are attributes that have a propose.  They are to be respected, noted when they surface and released as put of a function, nothing more.

In the same way you approach a new or existing relationship, you focus on the wonderful gifts your partner brings and in that you feel elated, as it is a mirror, a reflection of the gifts within yourself.  When you focus on the thorns, the elation decreases.  The purpose of any union is to elevate the vibration you hold for yourself multiplied exponentially.  That is why unions are sought after in the first place.  When two people find each other in vibrational alignment, the union takes the vibration up.  IF you are not in sync with the wholeness of you, you will attract from this vibrational place.  Love yourself, Dear One.  Take the time to appreciate your own gifts first then you will have much to offer your partner.  When you learn to be with yourself in full appreciation, you will never feel lonely or in need of companionship, only that the union will elevate your vibration.  Find time for you and We will provide the aligned relationships.


Gathering occurs with contrast.  You ask the universe to supply your most genuine heart wishes and it prepares to deliver.  When you have experiences that do not line up with what you have asked, it is an opportunity to refine and declare with conviction your wish.  When you were a child, you wished on a dandelion and blew the seeds into the sky.  Your hopes for the fulfillment of that wish drifted up and away and you never gave it another thought.  Of course you are worthy to receive your wish, you thought.  As an adult, you might think the wish is too big or too much to be granted.  Therein lies the work.  You are still that same child in the eyes of the universe.  You are completely worthy.  Learn to let the seeds fly.  Imagine them reaching your angels and their delight at being able to be of service.  They ready themselves to deliver the request, but in the interim you doubt you will actually get what you asked for. The angels are all packed up with your gift.  They are at your door, ringing your bell and you have become deaf!  Let it go.

All that you have put with the gathering of your experiences are inside your heart right now.  They are glorious and perfect.  Hiding them in your heart keeps them there.  Take a moment and find the most precious one.  The one you guard.  It is the one that is wrapped exquisitely.  Love it.  Love the time that it has taken you to create it.  It is time to open it and give it over to the angels for manifestation.  You read these words and at this moment you lose doubt and find your courage.  We ask that you intuitively journey within and find the reason you have denied this gift.  Ask for Us to help you release the fear.  You are loved so completely.  There is not a thing we would change if we could.  You are a unique expression of Source.  There is nothing to change.  Love yourself as you would your own child.  You do not deny the children the journey of creating their wishes and receiving them.   You are this child.  Embrace yourself.  Intuitively you do not doubt this.  Do not let your thinking mind overrule your heart.  It does not know better.  it is the means at which you function and get your tasks done to be healthy and care for the physical experience.  The mind is a tool, not the governing body.  Give it the credit it deserves but not much more.  Thought is limiting.  Emotional response and feelings guide you to the truth of who you are.  Be YOU.

You Are Worth It

Your imagination is powerful.  You are the only barrier between your dreams and the reality you seek.  Imagine and ask, in great detail, the world you wish to create.  The universe did not have you come into this physical form to suffer.  The programming you have received up until now has created the reality you are presently living in.   Your thoughts and beliefs have given you as it is.  It is difficult to hear that you are responsible for the current situation.  If you decide to turn away from this message because you are having an emotional response, you may, or you can sit quietly with the the emotion and ask for clarity to explain your dissatisfaction.  Becoming unsettled is a step forward into the truth of who you really are.

We are here, Dear Ones, playing in your dreams, taking you away from this reality to help you remember the bigger version of who you are.  The messages you wake up with may be unclear at first but as you ask for clarity, We will repeat them as often as necessary.  Sometimes We will repeat the messages in different forms of communication, trying to get you to realize you are never alone.

You truth needs to be shared and spoken.  Stand by your truth.  You need not sacrifice your happiness for your truth.  Those around you will be made responsible for their reaction.  It is not for you to help them find their way with the truth you deliver.  You will find freedom and release from old patterns that do not serve you.  You are worth it.

You Are The Offering

Make your offering to Mother Earth, let it be you.  Your dedication to your path inspires others.  Your enlightened souls uplifts and re-energizes.  There is no need for instruction.  Being in your presence is instruction enough.  Notice the layers of protection and walls of defense begin to crumble as you penetrate them with Love, compassion and acceptance.

Honoring your true feelings is courageous.  Your emotional response to a relationship tells you volumes of truth, but are you ready to see without self judgment and criticism the mirror before you?  You may be very adept at forgiving others but the most rewarding gift is this love towards yourself.  Let the anger, disappointment and embarrassment well up in you.  Smile and embrace the gorgeous opportunity to peer deeply into the response.  Ah yes, the warrior declares, “another chance to love myself even more!”

The healing is instantaneous.  The joy will flow through you replacing the other emotions with a true sense of FREEDOM.  You will be whole once again after the dismantling but so much more authentic.  The power surges through your physical and energetic body realigning yourself more fully with who you really are, Source Incarnate.

There is not one problem that arises that will be stifling. You will perceive only a bit of a stumble as you resonate closer to the core of truth and freedom that resides deep within.  It is not possible to have done so much work and veer far from center.  The reality fills with Light and the seriousness transforms into humor.  There is a giggle that dances around your soul at you are challenged and rise above.  Conquer each interaction with your truth and the guidance will be simply stated.  Your actions will be clear.  Clarity resonates with peace and your mere presence will be enough to move mountains.